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Throwing knives…the perfect gift for my lovely wife

As you may have discerned from reading my drivel, I am a practical sort of guy.  Most times that blends well with my continued happiness and allows me to maximize money and get stuff done.  Among some of our friends and acquaintances, however,   my practicality has become somewhat notorious.  But really, what person doesn’t want to get gifts they can use?  And sometimes Emily needs to use vacuum cleaners or frying pans.

Muffin pans for Christmas
Practical…cast iron muffin pan!

So, this year for Christmas, I decided to get Emily one practical gift and one not practical gift.  I like to cook bacon (and other stuff too) using a cast iron skillet.  Occasionally, Emily cooks cornbread and uses my skillet.  I figured a good practical gift would be to get her a cast iron muffin pan she can use when she makes her excellent cornbread.  It’s practical, will last forever and is something she needed.  I am thinking, “score!” with the practical…and normally that would be enough, but this year, I went above and beyond.  Friends, I got her the infamous practical gift but I also got her a frivolous gift just because I care and want her to be happy.

Throwing knives for Christmas
I may have made a huge mistake…that “smile”…

Imagine my surprise when she didn’t run over and hug me when she opened her throwing knives!  I mean, what woman wouldn’t enjoy a nice set of throwing knives?  Apparently throwing knives are not a suitable Christmas gift for one’s wife.  After much discussion among the men in my circle, none of them understands the problem with the gift either.  I asked if she wanted me to return them and she said, “No, I intend to get very good at throwing them…”  I couldn’t hear the end of her sentence but I think she said something  like, “…just keep smiling target-boy”