So a few days ago, I told you all about the fun we had with crows on our honeymoon. Â You may recall that my brother and a friend had put a bunch of birdseed into our suitcases as well as in the car. Â By “in the car” I mean inside the car…literally. Â There was birdseed in the dashboard, in the heater vents, down in the seats, floorboards, and even more in the dashboard. Â Well, you get the point. Â Anytime we drove around and hit a bump, even months later, birdseed would fall through the dash and onto the floor.

The start of the birdseed saga!
Jump ahead to our move to Kentucky for graduate school. Â We were in marital bliss. Â I suppose we didn’t see the world around us very clearly as we missed some obvious things…you’ll see in a second. Â So, we were poor and all that but it was cool being married. Â Emily seems to remember a rough few years as she attempted to train and civilize me. Â Once she gave up, things got much better. Â Anyhow, part-way through school, we moved to an apartment above a funeral home (more on that in another post!).
We noticed some wormy things in the backseat one day while unpacking groceries or something at the funeral home. Â I didn’t think much of it. Â I squished them and went on with my business. Â Days later, we noticed them again…and again and again. Â It started to get serious pretty quickly.

The car...already doomed!
I got a wild hair and decided to remove the back set of the car to see what was going on. Â Why oh why didn’t I just remain ignorant?! Â The entire back seat was infested with meal worms! Â I don’t just mean there were a few crawling around. Â Oh no, the foam in the seat was full. Â The carpet in the floor was infested. Â It was a regular larval zoo in our car!
I often deal with things like that with extreme overkill. Â We had a Chevy Celebrity which, incidentally, was the best car ever made! Â I loved that car! Â Emily and I sanded the thing down in the weeks before our wedding so we could get it painted. Â We wanted to make a flashy exit from the wedding ceremony. Â Anyhow, back to overkill. Â A Chevy Celebrity has maybe 30 sq ft of cabin space. Â An insect bomb for a 2000 sq ft house seemed about right. Â Makes sense, right? Â If some is good, more is better!
On two separate occasions, I set off house-sized insect bombs in our little car. Â The worms remained. Â It’s a wonder we remained! Â I am certain that a concentration of insecticide like that was not all that good for us. Â After losing on the second bomb, I just re-installed the back seat and we looked no more.
How did we finally deal with the issue, you may ask? Â Well, we traded that car in for a Chevy Prizm, the second best car ever made! Â It was new and worm-free! Â I blame those worms on the birdseed. Â I have no doubt that the seed had meal worms in it. Â They lived a good life for a couple of years on all of the birdseed in the car. Â That wedding birdseed was the gift that kept on giving!