I was messing around the other night on facebook (definitely an evil place) and I was pretty bored…so I updated my status to “gonna clip my toenails”. A friend suggested that I blog about it and it occurred to me that I have strong opinions about toes…and feet…and actually, ankles too. You see, I really, really hate feet. Baby feet are ok but once a person starts to support their own weight on their feet, all bets are off. Feet turn instantly gross and get worse as time goes on.
I know some people have a “thing” for feet but I truly don’t understand. Most people have funky, crooked, hairy toes with nasty toenails and crusty heels and stuff growing between said toes (well, maybe most people don’t have all of those, but any one of them disqualifies feet for me). I did a (very) little bit of looking for pictures of feet that I could use as examples but could not continue. Please, I beg you, do not search google images for “feet” or “toes”…honestly, it isn’t really safe to search google images for much of anything, but what I found was particularly disturbing.
Anyhow, since I have to clip my own toenails regularly, I have grown accustomed to my own feet and can go on with my day after a trim (and after a good hand washing). The kids and wife are on their own though. I can handle belly button lint and ear wax and those little white crunchy things you sometimes cough up from the back of your throat…but toe jam? The horror! No chance! I figure that there must be some traumatic event in my history that made me like this because my brother shares a similar aversion…
Ok, that’s probably a whole lotta too much information, but in the interest of transparency, I thought you should know.
Anybody else share my madness?